Here is a little sidetrack from the history of how we became swingers. Don’t worry though we will get back to that soon.
Most of our encounters have been MFM (Male Female Male) experiences until recently. In the past having a friend join was easy. We were in our twenties going bars or having friends over to drink or smoke weed. Getting one of them to stick around and have sex with a married woman was not all that difficult of a task. Most guys are not going to turn down sex with no strings.
Now in are later thirties we are finding it to be much more of a challenge. Having kids we don’t go out and party like we did in the past. Plus, the friends we do party with are other parents in the neighborhood and we are not trying to have that awkward Girl Scout meeting happen!
On the prowl we scroll some of the sites like SLS (SwingLifestyle.com) for example, being the one we have been on the longest and to our surprise the profiles for single males are simply awful!
You are a single guy, with the opportunity of NSA sex with a hotwife, Milf and you can’t even fill in your profile? You should try a little to entice at least!
We did meet an amazing guy when we lived out west. Lily prefers a man with some dominance. I am pretty Dominant as well. She just likes her men like that. The guy who joined us back then was the first person we met off SLS. He was Greek if I recall. Tall, tan, nice physique and knew what he wanted. He was very Dominant but in a respectful way. There is a very fine line between dominant and asshole. If you can master that line you will go far in this community.
We are currently on the hunt to add a guy and we have noticed a few things.
Men are not nearly as dominant as they say they are. Or maybe it is just where we are living now. It’s totally awesome that you are polite but sometimes in this situation polite is just…well…boring! If she is bored I am bored. This applies to men we meet in a couple also. Which makes us wonder if some of these couples are in the lifestyle because the wife is being left unsatisfied. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a cuck, though sometimes enjoy taking a backseat and letting Lily fully engage in her other man. The hotness for me is seeing her turned on. Other times I can be very Alpha so when she is shared with another man she is being devoured. She loves that as it makes her feel desired. Who doesn’t enjoy being desired?
Everyone is different so if soft and sensual is your thing that is great but we prefer to leave “Making Love” for us. When others are involved it’s time to fuck!
Another thing we notice with single men is their lack of communication. Say something! We’re not going to just book a date and fuck. Don’t just send a dick pic right out the gate. Women need to be mentally stimulated. If you fuck her mind then you’ll probably fuck her but if you can’t hold a conversation in text chat then we are not off to a good start.
In our current search we’ve began conversations that seem to be heading in the right direction then suddenly there are hours or days between answers. This makes it nearly impossible to build a connection. It’s like a constant false start. Makes us wonder if these men were serious in the first place.
We get it though. Maybe there is a place for these men. Maybe it’s just us. We know not everyone is looking for the same thing we are. Either way if you are a single male trying to take part in the LS, here is a bit of advice. Know what you want but be willing to improvise. Listen to the couple you are trying to meet with. If you really want to be part of their sexy secret world listen to what they are looking for. Adapt and be ready when the time is right. This isn’t “normal” dating but you still have to make an effort.
Comment if you’d like to tell us about your experience as a single male or a couple looking to add a third.
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