Word on the street is that a local news station is digging for information. They want the story on alleged sex parties and swinger events in the St. Louis area!
Do you think we should worry?
A couple who runs a private group reported on receiving the letter below. It has shown up in other various groups and forums as well. Apparently, it was stuck to the door of a handful of known and suspected lifestyle venues.
After attending events, your private sexcapades bust wide open. People find out that you are non-monogamous. What would that do to you?
Living authentically means not allowing the opinions of others keep you from living a lifestyle they don’t understand. As long as it feels right for you. If you are not harming yourself or others, it is none of anyone’s business. After all, we have the right to pursue happiness in this country, for the most part!
Of course, there will be fall out and potential ramifications if suddenly a large number of people were outed. Job loss is possible. Friends pull away. Family can think differently or even cut you off. Couples with children can face issues with bullying, if neighbors or school families learn of the news. These are all real possibilities.
So, we all panic and shut down. Parties are canceled, venues and online groups tighten up their rules and privacy. Everyone goes into hiding.
Do we ever feel it’s time to stop hiding and change the stigma? Why should we be ashamed of ourselves for this life we have created? Why are we hiding in the first place? What is so shameful about how we live? So, we enjoy sex! Here’s some news: Most people do!
We always shy away from the truth. Being sneaky and discreet is part of what makes the rest of society look down their noses at us. They will hate us whether we are in the shadows or in the open. It’s just how it is. So, why not be proudly us? I am not saying have sex in public and flaunt it. Just to find ways to bring awareness and educate others on the positive experiences.
The story above did in fact air about a week ago. It seems they’re mainly targeting private “sex” parties. Private home gatherings to offer a safe area for play.
In the news report, they interviewed a man. He had legitimate concerns about trouble with parking on his street due to the parties. It can be so frustrating living somewhere with street parking only. It’s difficult enough to find a spot near your home.
If the issue is parking, then these parties need a new venue. It is understandable that people want to park near their home. No one wants to come home late from work. Only to deal with a bunch of random cars up and down the street. Then a long walk after finding parking. Completely understand the argument there. These party hosts should rethink their venue and be more courteous of the neighborhoods they are throwing the parties in.
Yet, he also said, “someone could get shot.” Granted, this city is known for its high rates of violence and illegal gun use. This does not seem to be a common issue for any of the parties in these communities. While statistics on these events are scarce. We have attended quite a few now and have seen very few altercations. People simply want to enjoy themselves as adults in the way that fits best. In all the parties we’ve attended, even seeing an argument to breakout is pretty rare. People want these events to continue so they respect the rules of the venues and groups. Sure, there is always going to be a random who will cause an issue. Getting cut off from the community and banned from any party is a real possibility and no one wants that.
The news story talked about the heightened risk of sexual assaults. It also, discussed the raised exposure to STI’s due to the increased number of individuals gathering for promiscuous encounters.
Does sex happen at private home events? Absolutely! Many of the events have security readily available if needed. The statistics are scarce. I’d put money on it that there are fewer sexual assaults at a swinger party than a college frat party.
This shouldn’t be a fear at any event. Anyone who has been in the LS community long enough knows the importance of consent! Many of us take great pride in making sure all that we do is consensual. Even down to a simple kiss or hug.
It is true that the risk of STI’s maybe increased with so many in one area. A common misconception is that these parties are filled with everyone fucking everyone. That is just a false assumption from people who have no idea what actually occurs behind closed doors. We’ve been to parties that we’ve just talked and ate snacks. Just because you attend does not mean you are having sex!
Many of us take precautions and are responsible enough to be tested regularly. Some will have quarterly testing, while others even get tested after any new sexual partner. Some events offer free testing. Most events we have been to there is an assortment of free condoms readily available.
It is our responsibility as adults to protect ourselves. Some of the general public tends to have a belief that the government knows best. They should be our supreme protectors. Not everyone buys into that mentality.
The reporter made it sound as if party-goer’s pay and the host include sex. Like these parties are operating in a “gray area,” as they put it, that could be a “prostitution loophole”.
We’ve had plenty of amazing experiences with wonderfully slutty individuals, but not a single one was paid for. I don’t know what goes on at every party. but I have attended enough to know, paying for sex is completely unnecessary at these events.
What are your thoughts on the news poking around? If you’ve been to events like these, have you encountered violence? Let us know in the comments or in the socials!
It sounds like if we simply handle the parking issues, things will ease up a little. By now everyone other than those in the neighborhood reported on, have moved on from the story. We will keep an ear out and an eye to the ground if anymore comes of it.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Next up we will be discussing some of the recent parties, and meet n greets in the area.
Please be sure to follow if you enjoy the content. There will be much more to come as the temperature heats up and summer events kick into gear! Don’t miss the fun!
Sitting at my computer with a burnt finger from grabbing a spoon, so absent mindedly left on our hot stove. Feeling slightly stressed, anxious and, a bit stoned. Flicking through Facebook, thinking back on the week that was.
There was an incident early last week which caused my intentions to be questioned due to an ill-timed “inside”, that had a punch line really only known by a few. If you knew that the humor in the situation was more picking on myself than any group of people, you might just have chuckled along too.
Nonetheless, it was in poor taste. Occasionally, comedy misses the mark and leaves a bad taste. But, I know, this is only the beginning of opening up to a community I should have been a part of far longer than you could even comprehend.
Continuing to scroll I come to yet ANOTHER posts about, “unsolicited DM’s”.
If you’re in the LS these days, we know so much happens through Facebook. It brings the community to your home. You are always connected. Part of something. One of us.
The first time a bluefish makes his way into a group like this, they are like a kid in a candy store!
Settle down, brother. There is etiquette. It has to be difficult for a single guy in a community like this. Even more difficult is the male following a divorce within the community. Something I hope to never face, but can’t help feeling sadness for the way some relationships go south so quickly. We have stood on that edge ourselves, but somehow always pull each other back and hold on dearly to what we have created.
The Unicorn. Pretty much the polar opposite of the bluefish. She can nearly do no wrong in the eyes of these great gatekeepers of the Lifestyle community. Her word is bond. She may suggest the very same notion the single guy or in my case the polyamorous married one, and yet, the guy is the one who still gets banned from a group and labeled as unsafe.
Cringing at the whole situation, my thumbs are tense. Eagerly wanting to again voice my opinion on the “Nanny State” culture we are being forced to accept by some, simply to maintain being a part of the community.
Everyone is watching everyone else. Everyone sees who fails and who seems plentiful. It fuels jealousy, competition and hatred. Rumors spread like wildfire and an individuals reputation can be ripped to shreds in a click of a mouse.
These Facebook Groups do add value though. They are a necessary evil, as they bring us together. Allow us to build relationships and bonds. Family and friends at our fingertips.
Still staring at the post, trying to bite my tongue this time, not to engage in the same winless debate. Everyone just looks like an asshole in the end.
Instead, I pause.
It is time for a new tactic. None of us are getting anywhere with this argument and it is causing a break in a beautiful community.
My thoughts go to, why some feel it is so necessary to guard their inbox so fiercely?
There are some who equate an unsolicited message to rape or child molestation. This is a disgusting slap in the face to those who have actually faced these traumas.
At first, I think they are whiny brats who maybe weren’t hugged enough or something, but we’ve all had traumas. My frustrations are replaced with sympathy and sadness for whatever it is that caused some to feel so unsafe they aren’t able to deal with a random DM.
Scrolling past the message without even a like or comment several times, I ponder what could be done to help those feel safe without causing those who don’t share the same concerns to continue to feel free to message how they see fit.
Respecting something because it works for some, while still not agreeing with the way it is handled for all, is completely valid.
Many of us value our privacy. It is that simple. Of course, there will always be those who are rude and do not follow common decency. But there has to be a way that we can handle it in a less invasive manner.
I’m still unsure how sending a picture of your cock as an opening line is the best thing you could come up with. You actually think you have the magical penis she has been missing out on all these years? Does it at least come with tacos? Something about women and their tacos.
Besides the few bad apples, who may be easily weeded out, most of us have the best of intentions. We are hoping for connections and exciting experiences.
So how is COMPOMISE achieved?
My proposal could be used as a universal rule in just about all the groups. It will clearly let others know if your DMs are open to any who dare to enter, or closed, preferring others to ask in open forum for permission to send a message.
It would have to be something like a symbol everyone could see so it is very clear. This would give the choice to the individual and not the admins, who have far better things to do than hold our hands about using our private messages.
We all have a main profile page. It’s like your profile home page. What if there was a symbol system, we could use to let everyone know our personal preference?
Below you will see how you can add a mailbox emoji to your main page. We could each put up our preferred inbox.
If you place an open mailbox📭, this means you don’t mind others sending messages without prior approval and opt to handle your messages as you see fit. If you place the closed mailbox📪, you have expressed that prior approval is being requested before sending messages.
To do this for your own Facebook Profile, it is simple! Follow the directions below!
Start by switching to your main profile page, as shown here.
Click the button circled in red that says, “Edit profile”.
Once at the edit profile page, scroll down to, “Bio”.
Click on, “Edit Bio”.
This will bring you to a screen like the one shown next. You can fill this in with anything you would like. Including Emojis!📪📭
Locate the emoji, needed. In this case either the open mailbox 📭 or the closed mailbox 📪 Choose which suits your profile best and add it. This will allow anyone who is in the know to clearly see how you prefer your DMs to be handled.
An Open mailbox if you don’t mind random messages.
A closed mailbox for those who would prefer public approval.
Do not forget to save your work!
This will hopefully cut down on the weekly battles. Everyone is able to choose their preference. It makes it clear to everyone else. It will also make it very clear who has difficulty with boundaries. Admins do not get paid. They are not policing every moment and really have likely far better things to do with their time. With this in place, an admin may simply let anyone joining these groups know that it is their responsibility to set their preference.
If this catches on, it could alleviate one of the most common arguments we are currently have in these groups.
This community is welcoming, but lately the flood gates have opened. It seems many are somehow stumbling upon this world with no real insight, and they demand it is adjusted to fit their personal belief system what they should do is, observe and learn from others who have already been around for a long time. There is space for everyone to swing as they choose. We realize everyone is not at the same level. There is nothing wrong with having your own beliefs and boundaries, but when you force others to change theirs simply to suit you, then you cause nothing but drama which you all claim to not be a part of.
We hope this helps ease some tensions. We prefer to help the community we love rather that battle over it. These are not gangs. Some will be firm in their stance and that is ok. Perhaps they can create a no contact community, where they send memes and emojis in a forum style chat all day and never actually open themselves to direct interaction. That kind of group would also alleviate the need for the “Rule”.
Admins, we appreciate what you do, for the most part. There are some of you who run your group like a tyrannical fascist dictator, whilst calling those who are truly accepting of all, a bigot, or “privileged” based on little but the knowledge of their skin color and assumed gender. These people should be challenged for their hypocrisies.
We now have men being put on display in groups for simply sending a message. This creates so much unnecessary drama. There are also situations with men being slandered for not being able to perform or a couple not handling a situation perfectly attacked with screen shots of their pictures or conversations. It’s disgusting.
As Mizzy Bender so perfectly said it in her morning talk, “Do Better”!
Check out that conversation in the link below, that was perfectly timed with the quarrels we’ve been seeing locally. Be sure to check out her website, including the Mizzy Bender Shows, and Mind Bender Parties. Seems like an amazing amount of entertainment, and to us, an inspiration in the community!
If you have suggestions, or there are other things in the Lifestyle Community you are unhappy with, please share those thoughts with us. Perhaps we will address other issues in the future.
Recording and editing for the podcast is still underway. With our busy schedule, there is only time to work on it briefly, but “So Authentic” the podcast will be released this year as promised! If you have a unique story of a how you live Authentic, please share it with us. It does not have to be necessarily in the world of non-monogamy. If you have a business that in some way helps the community, then please share that as well!
We all want to be a part of this amazing thing we’ve found. Let’s all find ways to not only safely grow, but better our community. Be kind to each other. For those of you who are new to the community, perhaps observe a bit? There are many who are showing up, thinking it’s a sex fest free for all. There is etiquette. Give more than you take. Remember, this is about living freely non-monogamous. If you just came to party with naked women, you could simply go to a strip club. You do not belong at an LS party.
Should you have any questions or comments, do not hesitate to reach out. Swinopenmo@gmail.com
Thank you so much for reading! Have a sexy ass weekend!
Boobs, banners, body tape, and a whole lot-a booty! This long-awaited trip to “Sin City” was finally upon us! We aren’t talking about Vegas!
In an unsuspecting lakeside hotel/resort, right in the heart of the US of A, at Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri! For us, a short three-hour road trip away from the suburbs, through country roads, farmland and forest to Osage Beach, MO.
“They said, “yes”, when everyone else said, “no”!”
This message was relayed to us just days prior to the adventure that would end up being a highlight of our summer in 2021.
So much anticipation was built in the weeks, no, months leading up to the trip. We dodged illnesses from our kids, determined not to allow a cold or worse destroy our chance to get away, four whole days! It is a rare occurrence that Lily and I can get an overnight, let alone a long weekend, but here we were, on the precipice of a weekend that would surely leave us with stories for the ages.
Once again with one of our favorite Midwest party squads, LifeinStyle STL! Rockin’ out with all the panda sluts and lots of hot sexy libertines ready to party like it was spring break Daytona Beach in the 90s!
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, as we describe our point of view of just the first day of this adventure packed weekend.
Upon arrival, we stepped through the doors and were greeted by a gentleman who always seemed delighted to see us. He held the door as we passed into a world most will never see. A world where people are free to explore their sexuality without ridicule. A place where you are encouraged to be open to all your wildest desires and lustful intentions. Surrounded by like-minded individuals from some 20 different states, with no children asking for orange juice or fighting us at bedtime. Just Lily and I, determined to reconnect and let loose!
Passing through the lobby, we came upon a table filled with what appeared to be various rolls of tape. Every color and pattern you can think of! Next to the dispensers were binders filled with photos of beautiful women with amazing artistically designed bikinis and dazzling intricate outfits all created using the tape.
Johnny Mack spent hours creating masterful designs on many of the couples who were there that weekend. He did get his own party time in as well! All the way in from Vegas, Johnny Mack with Sinful Designs Body Art was quite the sticky sensation.
To the right of their booth, there was a short set of stairs, to the left, a ramp. We failed to notice the ramp when carrying in our luggage. Also, did not make use of several carts they had available, but that’s not the important stuff.
We headed toward the stairs and into a warm welcoming from Vinny and Sabinne. If you’ve read previous entries, you may recall them. They are the creators and visionaries behind these extravagant events put on by LifeinStyle. They never fail to bring the party and extravagance to their attendees.
Vinny approached me carrying a super soaker. Pointing it as if he were Tony Montana. He offered shots to us both, which Lily declined with a giggle, but I was happy to oblige and get the party underway! He pulled the trigger on the gun and fired a stream of some sort of vodka mix into my mouth, though most went down my shirt. It was the perfect start to the kind of weekend we were about to be a part of.
We continued down the short flight of stairs to a table where we were handed t-shirts, some stickers, and a wristband we were to wear the entire weekend. We were warned not to lose them. The shirts looked great but were a bit on the small side which they did warn us about. Though, perhaps the guy handing out the shirts should have been in charge of the wrist bands. He handed Lily a medium stating that if it were too small, she could exchange it. Of course, she was lucky to get one boob in the shirt, but surrounded by some of the sexiest people we have seen in the Midwest, there was no way she was going through the awkwardness of returning it. A good souvenir at least.
After receiving our goodies, we headed over to the hotel check-in desk where we received our room number, 142. . A short elevator ride down leading to a long walkway down the hall in the back of the hotel. Far from the party floor.
It wasn’t all bad though. We had a beautiful view of the lake from our balcony. Plus, staying off the party floor, allowed us to have a bit of quiet, which at times was needed. I know we sound like a couple of old people. Well, we’re not in our twenties anymore. That is for sure!
The hotel layout took a bit to learn. When we walked into the lobby, instead of being the first floor, we were actually on the 4th floor. That was the main floor of the hotel where you’d find the lobby, restaurant and bar. We would have to get in the elevator and go down to our floor on one. Our floor was still busy however as the hot tub was just down the hall, as well as the exit that led to a mountain of stairs down to the pool area. The pool deck was complete with full bar, ran by a dude named, Flint. The same bar that, while originally writing this at breakfast our first morning there, I realized my debit card was left at.
All settled in our room.
Once we situated our room, it was time to find out where everyone was hanging out. We were a bit nervous, knowing the caliber of sexy attendees we had seen already getting wild throughout the resort.
We hadn’t eaten since we had arrived at the hotel around 4pm, after getting settled, it was nearly dinner time. We agreed we would get food later, since it seemed everyone had already gone down to the pool, and we wanted to get the weekend started! We stopped off to grab a drink at the hotel bar, attempting to stick the request of patronizing the bars throughout the hotel more than the cooler full of beverages in our room. At least in the beginning.
We sat, had our drinks and discussed our hopes for the weekend. There was still so much to come and not even close to the final number of attendees had arrived. Many did not even join the party until Friday. At least one couple we met the last night, near the elevator, had come only for the final party. Which we ended up missing, funny enough. We will circle back to why that happened later.
We wanted to go to the pool, but there was a “Room Crawl” to begin shortly, and we did not want to miss out. Going into it on an empty stomach was concerning, but we had very little time to get anything. We made a quick stop back at the room. Fortunately, we brought some room snacks. While not the most satisfying, we filled up a little on chips and beef jerky Then filled our tumblers and made our way to meet friends.
ROOM CRAWL
The Room Crawl, I badly wanted to be a part of, but had my hopes squashed quickly when Lily showed me our budget and how little time we had to prepare. It was fun meandering from room to room. There were several fun couples who decorated their spaces and really had some creative ideas!
Room #1 Seven Deadly Sins
The first room was by a couple we have met several times. They are always so friendly and both extremely sexy. Their room had an eeriness about it with the theme of “Seven Deadly Sins”. Many of these sins we would indulge in over the four days.
Their decorations were awesome! They went all out with skeletons, red lightening throughout the room, and fake rats. They offered airplane bottles of alcohol as shots. I grabbed a mini bottle of Jack. Lily passed as she was carrying her white claw still.
Room #2 The Champagne Suite
A couple we just met created a fun, relaxed, and chill environment. The beds were covered with soft, fuzzy blankets and the room had a lounge vibe to it. The blue lighting gave it a cool feel and the seemingly endless bottles of champagne gave a touch of class and elegance.
They created a fun little drinking game as well.
A basket filled with numbered ping pong balls in an array of colors glowed from backlights in the room. You had to shoot the ball into a garbage can. I can’t completely recall all the rules. I won though!
They also had this cool Champagne gun. I’d never seen something like it. The bottle loads on top like a ammunition clip. Then the gun is pointed toward a thirsty mouth, trigger pulled and a stream of bubbly is shot down the hatch! Fastest way to consume Champagne I’ve seen! We had a lot of fun in this room!
Room #3
Stepping into the hall we scooted on towards the next room. A table lined the wall in the hallway. A Jager machine sat on the table with stacks of small plastic shot glasses stacked in front. We congregated in the hall to chat for a bit while we did shots then funneled into the room where the hosts had a fun toy to show off!
The motor bunny!
With several speeds and attachments, this little heavenly toy can give women the ride of their life. We did not get the chance to see it in action. I don’t think any of the women we were walking with were quite drunk enough yet for something of that caliber of exhibitionisms. We thank them for our drinks and continued on.
Room #4 Sweet’s Suite
I honestly don’t recall the order, but this next room was occupied by an all-natural blonde bombshell with great big….
Um…
Eyes!
Hubby and she were dressed in hospital attire. This doctor/nurse combo was a fun couple to meet. Producer/Performer, Lisey Sweet and Mr. Sweet had created a fun little game of spin-to-win. The wheel stood on the table and tubes of shots awaited the outcome of the spin. A lucky participant would spin the wheel and take a shot from whatever part of Nurse Lisey the wheel landed on. My spin turned lucky when it landed on mouth! With high hopes of some deep tongue action, I stepped up, but she let the shot go once my mouth was on it. Awkwardly lingering too long probably, but I was feeling a buzz at this point.
The final room we saw was an homage to Mexico. The sexy couple who hosted this mini south of the border excursion, we had seen in quite a few posts in Facebook groups we are a part of, but don’t think we had ever met them in person until this event. Hubby wore a large sombrero and wifey was offering tequila. They were running out to checkout rooms for themselves, so we did not stay long. They have since created a pretty cool line of swinger jewelry you may want to check out!
Following the room crawl and feeling nicely buzzed, we finally made our way down to the pool. Now, when I say, “made our way down”, I mean
DOOOOOOOOOOWN
As in a wooden staircase that seemed to go on forever. The walk down wasn’t as awful as the return.
Once at the bottom of this mountain, we joined all the party people, both in and out of the pool. Across the pool built into the side of the hill was a bar that ran perpendicular to the hotel, with a walkway that continues down to the boat launch.
Many had already been drinking most of the day by this time and most women were topless, if not completely nude.
Still trying to drink from the hotel bars, we got ourselves another beverage. The bartender bore a striking resemblance to, Mike from Breaking bad and Better Call Saul. Later. We came to find out that he was an actor in his own right, having been in several tv shows and movies with bit parts and guest appearances here and there. Working the bar was his summer job. He did well for being on his own all weekend with a crazy group like us.
We took our drinks to the railing that overlooked the boat docks and out into the lake. The weather was perfect. The sun began to fall in the sky, creating a golden glittery hue to the water’s surface that stretched from one end of the lake to the other.
Feeling the freedom of the moment I pulled out my one hitter and packed some delicious bud. Taking a couple hits as Lily slipped off her top, took a few selfies, then sauntered on towards the pool.
Most had drinks of their own stash or tumblers adorn with various décor of stickers or wristbands from other saucy adventures, filled with whatever concoction they came up with for the evening.
We slipped off our sandals and Lily lead the way as she gracefully glided into the pool and waded out a bit into the sexy gathering. There were a few familiar faces, and we met some new ones but overall, not a whole lot of people we knew well. Music was playing to keep the party vibe up. There was a buzz in the air as the weekend’s magic began to reveal itself. Greeting new friends with deep kisses became fairly normal. This was only a mild precursor to what was to come.
We spent about an hour or so at the pool as we mingled and took in the atmosphere. Every so often dodging a sexy blow-up doll, who had some adventures in her own right that weekend.
Eventually we all began the trek back up the colossal climb. Getting out of the pool I realized someone had the exact same flip flops as me and they were right next to each other. They were even the same size. I tried to figure it out, but in the end, just threw on a pair and made my way out. So, my guy, in case you’re reading this, you may have swapped something other than your wife that weekend. Though, I guess swapping is what it was all about.
Still nursing a nice buzz made the task of hiking back somewhat bearable. Though we still made a few stops along the way as I puffed on a pre-rolled joint I picked up from a local dispensary before the trip.
Not wanting to end the evening, we stopped at the hot tub and joined a few other couples in the extra-large spa.
Something about booze and pools that makes people hot and always brings on naught escapades. Lily and I were putting on a little show as kissing turned into lustful thrusting rather quickly. We ended up entangled with a few others in the jacuzzi. Our tongues, fingers, and hands stayed busy as we explored new bodies without even exchanging names at first. Lily was kissing women and men as she obviously was feeling daring.
We eventually came up for air as more couples joined the water. One such couple we met boasted their own Lifestyle Clothing line.
These two from T.U.G.S. Nation were a hot pair! They talked about their brand with such passion. It amazed me how all these couples had found a way to make a business out of the fun part of their life. They basically travel the country from party to party selling their merchandise. It was a fascinating and inspiring.
Love my TUGS Nation hat!🍍🍍
Their motto was, “If you know, you know.”
At least that was mentioned a few times. Honestly, I believe these days many people know what the pineapple means. Though their design is a grenade with a pineapple feel to it, there is still a pretty obvious message. I had to get one of their hats. We admire their love of law enforcement, first responders and military.
I wear my T.U.G.S Nation hat all around town any chance I get, wondering if others are in the know. So far I’ve had no one comment.
Check out all they have to offer at www.tugsnation.com
With the night drawing to a close and much more to come, it was time to head back to our room for some sleep.
What an amazing first night! Still unsure on how we made it through and woke up in time for breakfast. That’s when we realized that I never closed the tab at poolside bar! One night and already left my debit card behind! I was able to retrieve it.
The wristband we were given, and told not to remove, was torn and tattered, nearly coming off my wrist. Sabine stopped to say good morning. Seeing the sad condition of the wristband, she promptly cut it off and replaced it! The weekend had just begun.
Didn’t make it 24hrs
The next three days were filled with everything from dancing to naughty escapades, some relaxation and even baby oil wrestling! My original intent in writing this was to take you through the entire weekend, but it’s probably best I don’t. If you can, we highly encourage you to experience it yourself! They have already started selling tickets and rooms! You can check for yourself at https://www.lifeinstylestl.com/ . They have their St. Patrick’s day party coming up very soon! I had really wanted to go, but our lives have been pretty busy lately.
Submitted by Panda Sluts 🐼
From the live acoustic set at the fancy dinner, by two amazing musicians, who are also swingers to the sexiness of the glow party, this event really had it all. We even became, accidently involved in a wild boating rescue adventure with a fun and sweet couple.
The sprawling playroom was not used nearly as much as one would have expectes, with the amount of people at the event. One thing we do notice at events with this group is the abundance of hot people who love to party and dance more than anything. While there is some live action play happening throughout, it is not the large open orgy one might think. Many form little groups and mainly party privately with those they planned to. Still others look for as much sex and play time as possible. Being the exhibitionist Lily and I are, we definitely made use of some of the playroom’s equipment.
As always, Lily and I enter these events with little expectation and if we end up having sex with only each other, that is perfectly fine for us. We could take in the sexiness around us and let it turn us on, causing us to ravish each other by the end of the evening and be completely content.
By the last night, we couldn’t even party anymore. Too much alcohol and not nearly enough sleep. We started to prepare for the final party, but instead ate a couple THC gummies and found ourselves giggling in the room together and wanting to simply share the last bits of time without the stresses of the real world. We packed up much of what we brought and looked through pictures we had taken. We discussed if we would do it again in 2022. Vinny told me he wanted me to work the event in 2022, but I am not sure, as it was so much fun to be part of the party!
Submitted by Panda Sluts🐼
As mentioned, we’ve started seeing many posts for National Swingers Weekend 2022. If you are going, don’t wait too long or you may miss out on the best rooms. Every year it seems to get bigger and bigger. We’d like to say we will be there, but family vacations are already set. We are not sure we can swing it this year! One can only imagine the possible shenanigans to be had!
Thank you so much for reading. If there are any questions, or requests of any kind, please feel free to reach out. Make sure you’re following our Instagram for the occasional mini blog. www.instagram.com/swingopenmo
We would say, follow our Facebook as well, but they keep locking us down with their silly rules!
Most of all, follow us here for future posts!
We are a little behind with our Podcast, but it will be coming! Even better, Lily has agreed to be my co-host! We are so excited to get things underway!
We have learned so much about ourselves by exploring our sexuality together. Not so long ago our feelings about sex, sexual desires and what turned us on looked completely different from what they are today.
A few years ago, I posted a question in a local Facebook group we are a part of. A question I thought was straight forward, but have learned the answers were anything but conclusive.
The question was simply, “Are you more dominant or more submissive?”
From my naïve perspective at the time, it seemed like a very black and white, night and day question. You had to be one or the other, no?
I couldn’t have been any further from reality.
Many commented that they are switch, depending on the situation.
Switch? It never occurred to me that someone could be both. Exploring multiple dynamics seemed so alluring. So simple but profound.
Still I wanted clear answers. Ultimately I was actually trying to find out which women in the group were submissive, to be honest. Another naivety. Assuming that just being submissive, perhaps would make them easily be submissive to me. Again, completely wrong!
I rephrased the question in a way to guide them to a precise answer. Urged them to pick a side! Everyone had to have a side, right?
Wrong again! I get it now. There are so many variants to sexual play that it makes complete sense that anyone, regardless of gender or sexual desires could be any part of the spectrum at any given time.
Desires change and evolve. You can choose to hold back or free yourself to safely explore where things may take you. If it’s something in the end you find you don’t like, you can always stop doing it.
For example, you may not be interested in anal play, but your partner wants you to try it with them. Are you curious? Does part of your mind whisper, “maybe you’ll love it.” If it does, give it a try. The worse thing that could happen is you try something and you dislike it. If that happens, communicate it right away. Talk to your partner. Be honest about what specifically you didn’t like. Perhaps there is an adjustment that could be made. Otherwise, if it’s not for you, that is perfectly fine! No one is required to perform any level of sexual acts.
Typically, it seems women will play the submissive role. I personally love submissive women. One of the reasons I married Lily. But you must remember, and what I have learned is, just because someone is submissive, does not mean they will submit to just anyone, at least not completely. They must have trust in their partners. This trust must be built up in order to allow someone who is naturally submissive to completely come out of their shell. That or if they orgasm, then all bets are off! At least that is how Lily operates. In the end though, honesty and trust help everyone to feel safe to try new things without fear of ridicule.
This all starts to get into the BDSM community a bit. I am not even going to pretend to know much about BDSM, but I am learning. Some of my new kinks and fetishes definitely dabble in that kink community. I would love to learn more. I hope to share more with all of you.
There is an event coming up this weekend, “Beat Me in St. Louis.” See what they did there? Unfortunately we will not be able to attend. There is no way we can get that many days without kids. Perhaps in the future.
Advertised as a three day fully immersive event. All the Kink and BDSM you could ask for. They have seminars and educational presentations. It will be completely “Vanilla-Free.” Sounds like one hell of an event and a great way to learn a lot at once about the BDSM community.
Find more information for the event by following the link here, https://beatmeinstl.com/
If you happen to go, send pics or just a short paragraph of your favorite thing about the event or even if there were things you didn’t like, share those too. We would love to hear all about it!
Getting back to submissive people, women don’t always play this part. In fact it is pretty common to have a female Dominatrix, or Domme. Gender really plays no part in who is the dominant one.
I have started to explore my submissive side this year and have discovered some amazing erotic feelings that I never knew existed. It is fascinating to allow your inhabitations go and truly immerse yourself in the moment. Submission is not giving up all control. In fact, the submissive has the most power of all. They carry the power to control how far their dominant counterpart may take them. They are the lead character in their sexual adventure.
Allowing myself to switch has given me some of the most highly erotic experiences ever. I still love to be dominant, but in the right moments I am happy to switch.
As I have said in the past, I am really trying to cut ties with all labels as much as possible. Why should they matter? Labels only serve to organize you into subsets or groups. Without labels, you are free to flow naturally from one experience to the next, without guilt or misunderstandings. No hierarchy needs to be created amongst you and your partners. Be dominant, be submissive, be anything that feels right at any moment.
You should try to let go if you have not done so before, become the submissive. Allow yourself the experience of relinquishing your control. If you do this, feel free to report back! Tell us all the dirty details!
Having a partner who explores your sexual desires and helps to push your boundaries definitely is a bonus; some may not have a partner, we know. There are so many singles in these scenes and you can absolutely get in. Of course, women are rarely turned away. You’d have to have really fucked up good if you are a female blacklisted from anything Lifestyle related. Or if you happen to be the single bluefish, just remember this, be yourself, be respectful. I know Lily has a few bluefish she is thankful to have met and have in our lives. We have one paying her a visit tonight.
A lot has happened with us and there is so much I need to catch everyone up on. Topics to come include, “We’re Poly Now?” We will tell all about our first poly relationships and how we struggled to maintain our life while dealing with jealousy and other issues we did not see coming. We plan to discuss cuckolding, including adventures we have explored. Such hot, intense experiences. Perhaps give some details on the “punishment” Lily received in which a friend and I delayed her orgasm several times before fucking her to multiple orgasms.
What else…? Oh! We have decided to jump on the Only Fans train and give it a shot. Why not? We have the equipment and the means to do it. It’s the consistency we lack. Perhaps with Lily being more the focal point of an Only Fans it will drive her to help me be consistent. We shall see. If we ever get accepted.
Picture from www.Lifeinstylestl.com
Also, BIIIIIG NEWS! We are going to National Swingers Weekend 2021 with the LifeinStyLe STL Group! Can NOT wait! Four nights on a lake property with hundreds, perhaps thousands of swingers and lifestyle party goers. There is entertainment every day with dinners and nightly themed parties! We missed last year but are so happy and excited to be a part of it this year!
As always, please feel free to reach out to us if you have any questions or opinions you’d like to relay, or if you just want to talk to someone like minded. We love talking to people from all over and learning about what works for them in this Lifestyle and what we can perhaps take away for ourselves.
To all our followers, thanks for bearing with us. You are very much appreciated! To those who perhaps stumbled upon this, please follow. We promise, it won’t be boring. At least, we will try not to let it be boring. Until next time!
We know it’s been awhile. As we’ve said before, we are terrible at follow up.
There really hasn’t been much to follow up on this year. Besides the global pandemic, there has not been any swinging to write about. Lily has been working from home now, along with me. It’s great to spend the days together. Lunch time workouts together, little check-ins throughout the day, and even better, sometimes having each other for lunch! If you know what I’m saying.😜
This year has brought on so many stressors for everyone, or magnified ones that likely already existed. Friends of ours have gotten divorced. Some swingers have realized, without the events, meet ups, and parties, their life with their significant other doesn’t mesh as well as it should or is just not that exciting. It’s very unfortunate, but stressful events will definitely bring to light the most difficult issues in relationships.
Also, there is a presidential election this year.
We try to avoid drama at all cost when it comes to the lifestyle. We’ve seen posts turn in to ugly battles between people who we thought were friends. Whether its drama caused by a couple or an outside element like politics, it’s still drama and there is no room for it in the lifestyle.
We simply steer clear of these conversations and we urge others to do the same. It’s just not worth it. No one is going to change anyone else’s mind arguing through Facebook or Twitter. To be honest, it’s just not that sexy.
So many socially appropriate behaviors we were raised on, go out the window when it comes to politics. People didn’t use to talk so openly about their political beliefs. You kept your mouth shut and just voted. It didn’t matter so much what others thought.
Maybe we are wrong. Maybe we were young and naive. However, there is definitely something to be said about the changes in communication over the years. The ability to connect with others through multiple platforms across the world with Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or even on Swinger Sites, has allowed for instant communication. Unfortunately, it takes away the face to face aspect and people seem to lose their filter or they become brave enough to say the things they typically would not say in person.
This happens with Swingers too. You might chat with a couple and have fun conversations in Kik or Facebook messenger. You probably begin to build up a persona in your mind about these people, even of you have yet to meet. Then you meet and they are completely different than expected.
I know we’ve done this.
We chatted back and forth with a couple for a bit. Exchanging flirtatious remarks and photos with each other. We were excited to meet them and had created in our minds how hot the meeting would be. When we actually met them in person, so much about them was different from what we had pictured.
They were much more reserved and shy than expected. It was a surprise based on how open they were through our conversations. Their voices didn’t even match how we imagined they’d sound. It’s a funny thing to say, but it makes us feel somewhat bad for having perceived so much about people based on a few photos and emboldened conversations. But the mind seems to create an overall idea and expectation. It’s hard to avoid.
Unfortunately, that’s the way it is everywhere these days. People blocking or being blocked for snarky comments and angry politically charged internet battles. It’s sad.
We have a Facebook profile devoted to lifestyle events and the local community, so we can keep it separate from our vanilla world.
We use to get on that profile and see a feed full of sexiness, exciting, titillating conversations. Now we see people bickering over Trump and Biden. Well shit, that looks like our vanilla feed now! That’s no fun at all. But that’s where this year has gone. Between the pandemic and it being an election year, the anger and nastiness has been amplified to a point where it is beginning to drown out the light moments we hope to share.
We even heard of someone we know, who decided to take it upon themselves to out a couple to their vanilla community, just because they supported a different political party. That’s too far! There is simply no reason for it and no place for it in the lifestyle.
We never discuss politics at any event, meet up, date or encounter. It should be a political free zone.
Quite honestly, not bringing it up is the smartest thing for anyone. You risk alienating yourself, depending on what the majority of the community beliefs are. You’ll certainly be passed over by someone who may have been an extremely satisfying and intense sexual experience because you don’t have the same political ideals. You are limiting your own field and narrowing your options. So we say leave it out.
Politics and the Lifestyle do not mix and quite frankly, some of you could use this idea of leaving it out of your vanilla world as well. Then again, toxic people don’t always change how they behave just because they are in one community or another. The drama and toxicity simply shifts to a new venue for them.
Whatever happens this year, stay calm, have a glass of wine, maybe smoke a bowl and get naked as often as you can. We hope all of you are safe and well.
If you enjoy our little blog please share it with your friends and be sure to follow, incase we feel creative or actually have a moment to write. Please feel free to message us if there are any questions or topics you would like to read about in relation to the Lifestyle.
There have been many conversations amongst LS acquaintances of ours about kissing. Some feel it’s too intimate, like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”. They will give all of themselves to someone else but the lips are only for the one who they love. Others crave the sexual tension kissing builds and the connection it gives them with another person. It makes them feel wanted, sexy, and allows them to feel the chemistry they need to take it to the next level.
Some argue that if you can have sex with someone who is not your significant other then you sure as hell should have no issue having a steamy make-out session. After all it is a vital part of foreplay, isn’t it?
According to Bitishcouncil.org;
“The dopamine released during a kiss can stimulate the same area of the brain activated by heroin and cocaine. As a result, we experience feelings of euphoria and addictive behaviour. Oxytocin, otherwise known as the ‘love hormone’, fosters feelings of affection and attachment.”
Given this is what kissing can do to a person it makes perfect sense why some couples have reason to keep kissing to themselves. Though most we find in the LS have no ill intentions of taking your mate away and brush kissing off as a form of greeting among other like-minded people. Still it can give you pause with the realization of how strong it can effect you emotionally.
So just how do some people even allow kissing to be on the table in an non-monogamous way without fear of destroying their own home?
This is such an individualized thing. To have entered this lifestyle in the first place a couple must already have an extreme eternal trust. Lily and I have built a strong deep trust over the years. We tell each other everything. There should be no secrets between a lifestyle couple. Or any couple for that matter. These experiences shared are not about one-upping or sneaking a quickie with someone else without your partner knowing. To us anyway, it’s all about experiencing it all together. There has to be a certain level of maturity and self awareness in order to make any of this work.
We have encountered couples who don’t kiss on two occasions now. Surprisingly both were at LifeinStyleSTL Parties like the one we talk about in LifeinSTyle Hotel Takeover Part 1.
It is paramount to discuss your rules and be sure about what you as a couple will allow before any play. This alleviates any misunderstandings. Others should understand and respect those boundaries as they expect you to respect theirs.
Dinner before meet n greet. We drank the whole bottle.
Personally, we love kissing! We love the affection and the closeness. Yes, it is intimate but so is oral. We don’t have rules against kissing at all other than making sure the other is in agreement with who we are kissing.
At a recent meet n greet I was kissed by two different women at separate times throughout the evening. Lily became slightly upset with me. Especially with the second one. We had some pretty intense kissing right next to her at the bar and I think she felt left out. I didn’t think anything of it but it really bothered her. It may have been more that we drank a whole bottle of wine before going out and her tipsy emotions got the best of her. She was done with the night and ready to go. It was a bit frustrating since there were so many people there we had been wanting to meet for a long time. Instead we found ourselves calling an Uber at 10:30 and she went silent for the rest of the evening.
In hindsight I should have checked in with her before enjoying the lips of another and that was my error and lesson learned. Even though we are a couple who enjoys kissing it clearly can spark a bit of an uncomfortable situation if not discussed and agreed upon before.
Kissing is intimate, it’s exhilarating, exciting, and oh so sexy! It can however bring up feelings in some people that may be unexpected whether you are the one kissing, being kissed, or witness to your significant other kissing. You as a couple must be honest and have a serious conversation if kissing is something you will allow or if you will keep it for yourselves.
Tell us what you think! Are you a kissing couple? Do you share your lips or are they sealed from the lifestyle? There is no one way in the LS.
Thanks for coming back to read our thoughts and experiences. If you have any questions that come up please do not hesitate to contact us. If there is something you would like discussed let us know and we are happy to see how we may tackle it! If you enjoy the content please be sure to like, subscribe and share with others! Kisses! 😘
We have been in the lifestyle for quite some time. Having met as teenagers we found early in our relationship that sharing was an intoxicating exciting adventure we wanted to be a part of. Still together close to half a century later our passion for the swinger lifestyle has grown immensely. We are constantly looking for exciting new ways to meet other couples and even singles.
From apps to swinger sites even twitter we will share a few we like what has worked for us!
Swinger Sites
There are so many sites these days. All the websites seem to be regional. We have signed up for many but have only forked over the money for two at this point.
This was the first swinger site we ever joined. We have been members for about seven years and have met some fun, sexy people through this website.
When we lived in California we found this site to be full of people just like us. We took advantage of a one time fee to be Lifetime members.
Known to most as SLS, it is, from what we have heard, one of the original lifestyle sites. It is fairly easy to use. Creating a profile is simple and straight forward. You will only need your email address and to complete their profile section. Then add some pictures and you are on your way.
The search section is very easy to use and allows you to narrow the filter down to what kind of person or couple you are looking for. You can also search only paid members if you prefer.
Members seem to be pretty active on this site. We have met and successfully had quite a few sexy encounters through the site.
There is a section to post calendar events or “hot dates”. If you are going to be going out and looking for someone to join you simply post a “Hot Date” with the details of what you are looking for. Also many local and non-local events are listed.
The messenger is a bit clunky and isn’t great for long conversations but it works well enough to get the fun started. We usually will flip to Kik messenger like most people if the conversation is heating up.
You will need to pay for this sites best features. With a free account you can get a good look at everything that is provided and you may even receive messages but will not be able to send any or even reply.
All in all we like this site. It has worked well for us on the West Coast and the Midwest. Though lately it has not been our goto but we still check it every now and again since we are lifetime members.
Club Fore Play or C4P is another site we learned about in 2018. Of course it allows for profile creation and the ability to add pictures as with any of them. I don’t believe there is an ability to instant message in any way.
There are three separate picture album categories. You have your public photo album. This is where you should post pics that will catch the eye of potential playmates. Then they have a restricted section. Non-paying members can’t see these which is kind of a cool feature but a bit unnecessary. Last you have your private photo album. This album is where your naughty pictures and even face pictures should go. You get to decide who sees them. You can remove access at any time.
The email is pretty simple and even gives you a bunch of fun little emojis. It also gives the option to send the email as, Us, Him, or Her. That is pretty nice as a lot of times I will vet people and don’t want to start off as we are both responding.
I don’t think they offer a lifetime membership but we have used it pretty often and met some great friends. We simply signed up for a year or two.
Like SLS it has a section where all the local and regional events are taking place. You can sign up easily directly through the site for parties and meet n greets.
There are features to send a wink with a brief message. It’s a nice little ice breaker to let someone know you are interested. We have received winks from couples who we then reached out to with an email.
One thing I don’t care for, and actually it is like this on both sites, is that when you check out a profile the member(s) know that you have been looking. It would be nice to anonymously browse. I understand why they do it this way is to promote interaction but sometimes you are enticed by a profile picture only to find out once opening the entire profile that they may not be a match for you. It would be nice to have that person(s) not know unless you want them to.
I am really only covering sites we are paid members on because it is difficult to review any of these sites as only a free member as you really don’t have access to everything. However there are many other sites very similar like SDC.com, Kasadie.com, older ones like Adultfriendfinder or Fetlife. There are so many available and most are regional. Let us know which you prefer and what has worked for you!
PHONE APPS
Another avenue is phone apps. Although we have not used this method all that much we gave a couple a try.
Tinder
Tinder was created as a local dating app and allows you to swipe right or left to decide if you are interested in someone. A connection is made when you both swipe the same right. You are then able to send a message to get to know the person.
Never really had much luck with this app. You can go through all the photos in a day and only make a handful of connections. Out of those connections many didn’t even respond to a message sent. I have heard this is a hookup app but we did not experience that from it and really got nothing out of it’s use. Most people are single and it doesn’t really lend itself to couples though we have heard some people have success.
3fun
3fun is an app that advertises itself for threesomes and swingers. The problem with it right off is there just aren’t enough members. It is very regional and not quite enough people have signed up in this area as of yet. If they get the numbers up it could be pretty great. It is nice to not have to explain that you are part of a couple like in tinder. https://www.go3fun.co/ad/TK10121
Social Media
If you don’t know, you have got to find out! Social media seems to be the way to go to truly make meeting local swingers easy! You can quickly find out so much about the community around you with a simple hashtag!
Twitter
This is where we started. Twitter is a hot spot for naughty fun. We never knew there was a dirty secret side to twitter until we started listening to some of the Lifestyle Podcasts and the hosts would say to follow them on Twitter. Checking out their page would connect us to other pages with similar interest. Eventually we started to notice there were tons of sexy fun people in Twitter land who lived right in our own community or very close to it! This is how we discovered the LifeinstyleSTL group who throws those amazing parties like we talk about in https://swingopen.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/lifeinstyle-hotel-takeover-part-1/
Meeting that group bust the local scene wide open for us and it was all thanks to Twitter.
Twitter is so easy to use and you likely have an account. We love it because we find the anonymity sexy and alluring. We began sharing the occasional sexy picture here and there and interacting with a few podcasters. It is all about the hashtag. I fought for years with myself to never say hashtag. It was always the number sign or pound key but! Well I gave in! A few key hashtags will link you to a very sexy and explicit world where swingers, freaks, and sex fiends collide.
At first we were very selective about who we allowed to follow us and we kept our account locked. That all changed when we met a few other people who used their account not only to interact with other sexy swingers but also to promote, grow, and even make money!
We still maintain our anonymity but we are in several groups who retweet and share our posts to help us gain a larger audience. This is great for cam models or those who are looking to sell something. We haven’t quite crossed that line just yet but who knows what the future may hold?
Ever since Tumblr cracked down on adult content Twitter has been flooded with people of all sexual appetites! While we personally do not use it as an avenue to meet others in the Lifestyle anymore due to one follower who kind of ruined it for us, it totally can be used in that way. With the amount of users it’s reach never seems to end.
Facebook
For meeting others local and vetting them quickly there is really no comparison. Facebook has become our go to for finding out the latest events and local gatherings. There are so many groups and they are all hidden. We have a profile specifically set up for these groups so it does not overlap into our vanilla world. We don’t know for sure but assume these private groups are likely the norm in most communities. For us it seemed like once we got into one we began being invited to others. We are in groups for just our city, others for surrounding cities, and even ones for our whole state or adjacent states.
In these groups people share funny memes, everyday chit chat , and naughty pics. The pictures aren’t quite as naughty as twitter due to the strict policies. Many members often get their account suspended for pushing the limits. They end up in “Facebook jail”. This has happened to us a handful of times. Sometimes we’d challenge the suspension because there was no full nudity. Some of these rulings were reversed in our favor. Others we would serve a 24 hour suspension. I think the most we ever had was a few days. Which isn’t bad since we know some people who have had several 30 day suspensions. Nonetheless you have to be careful what you share. While you can still choose to be mostly anonymous if you’d like it is easy to be yourself in most of these groups and it really is beneficial to do so. You find out how small the swinger community is very quickly and it is easy to meet other play partners because these groups are so localized.
We love Facebook for the easy of use and the ability to make friends easily. One piece of advice if you are going to create a Lifestyle profile. Make sure to block your personal profile. Otherwise your Lifestyle profile will be recommended to friends and family.
I know it has been a long time since I have posted anything. I am terrible at follow up and there was a time where we considered creating a podcast instead. If you are still with me I thank you for coming back!
We have been through so much this year in the Lifestyle. Recently we have hit a wall. We are needing to step aside a bit and focus on our relationship a bit. That being said I have so much I want to tell you all so I will try to keep posting. I am going to try to figure a way to explain what has happened to cause us to want to take a break. Unfortunately sometimes you run in to things you didn’t expect going in and they cause you to have to take some time to process before you are able to go forward.
Although we love our naughty escapades, our marriage and family always come first.
Thanks again for reading. Tell me if any of these options worked for you in your pursuit of sexiness!
